Progress

Tonight I smiled at old memory albums

Tonight I made the right decision to turn around

Tonight I discovered exactly how Jasper is good for me

Tonight I learned more about how to treat myself right

Tonight....

Epitaph

Almost went back to my old friend, Mary Jane

Something about her calls my name

Makes you numb and forget

Something I desire to get

Open your mind and see the pain

Open your mind and see the consequences

Not so pretty now, is she

Not so pretty

Narcoleptic mind sinks in quietly

But no matter what, she is stealthy

Makes you fall in love without knowing

Not all of her true colours are showing

Open your mind and see the misery

Open your mind and see the tears

Not so pretty now, is she

Not so pretty

Settling in silently once you think you are free

Little by little, she will never let you be

There she is around the corner waiting

Planning your life and the baiting

Open your mind and see the shallowness

Open your mind and see the emptiness

Not so pretty now, is she

Not so pretty

Be strong and walk away

It will be easier day by day

True friends will understand

Time to take a stand

Live alive and well

No flickswitch to hell

Smiles and laughter the norm

Feel all safe and warm

Say goodbye.

Vulnerable

My thoughts are blocked

The pen ink refuses to flow

Welling up inside I feel the pressure

Where are these tears coming from?

Where is this anger finding its steam?

All mysteries of life.

Glad the tears could flow

Feeling trapped inside

The loneliness eats me up

Impatience rules the day

What is to become of me?

How can I make this top?

Life goes on.

Feeling the vulnerability of a victim

Heat and anger of something stolen

I hide and cry alone after it builds

So long hiding, so long ignoring

How to find the strength

How to find a way to move on

This does not rule my life.

An emptiness shines the light

Out through the cracks it is seen

Now I can deal with it and breath

There is no substitution to feeling

So very tired, just want to sleep

Dreams await to suffocate me

I bid a good night

I pray for a good morning

waterfall

it piles up in my chest

that heaviness

it wants to escape

that freedom

flow freely

under the waterfall

Happiness questioned

The more it falls apart, the more in place it seems

The outer layer breaks and falls and crumbles to dust

Something anew, breathing life springs to the fresh air

Beat down and questioned but I stand strong

My decision is not an easy one but is the truth

The truth hurts some and I expected some backlash

Part of me wants to break down to tears and deny

The rest of me stands tall with strong conviction

I am happy and love myself for who I am

I am who I am and there is no changing that

Love me for me

Happiness is so hard to find, a rare jewel

Stand strong and confident, sure of myself

Why is this so hard to understand

No rhyme or reason, just the way it is

Don't devalue or discredit me in my decisions

I don't need those reminders and pains

I have dealt with it and moved on to better things

The past has passed, let bygones be bygones

Be happy for me in my world I am finding

I love you for you and all your ways

You are my family and I love you

Good friends are hard to find

I thank goodness every day for the ones I have

The support I have been granted and offered

Thank you for everything

Grow, Live, Survive, Thrive