Heart of wisdom
Let me in again
It's time we become friends
Let go of the past
It's time we learn together rather than apart
Let us both do the loving and thinking
It's time for our union
Let's be one yet ourselves
Signed, the commonsensical mind
Friday, March 25, 2016
Fairy Girl
She sang a song of wonder and beauty
Voice so soft yet strong
It spun around life in rainbow halos
Darkness creeped in, taking over
Dimming the light and sound
Until all was hollow, black & white
She fought to stay alive, to feel
Experiences became the outlet
Damage upon damage, no more tears
She dreamed of song of light during the day
She dreamed of red and black at night
Until there were no more tears, numb
Hope... there was hope...
Living with dark and light together
She learned to walk in both drab and colours
She once lost herself in music to hide the pain
Then embraced it again to heal
Songs came back to life
Strength once forgotten renewed
Rainbow dreams dared to be thought of
Beauty in life restored
Stronger than before
Until the fairy girl was once more
Voice so soft yet strong
It spun around life in rainbow halos
Darkness creeped in, taking over
Dimming the light and sound
Until all was hollow, black & white
She fought to stay alive, to feel
Experiences became the outlet
Damage upon damage, no more tears
She dreamed of song of light during the day
She dreamed of red and black at night
Until there were no more tears, numb
Hope... there was hope...
Living with dark and light together
She learned to walk in both drab and colours
She once lost herself in music to hide the pain
Then embraced it again to heal
Songs came back to life
Strength once forgotten renewed
Rainbow dreams dared to be thought of
Beauty in life restored
Stronger than before
Until the fairy girl was once more
Monday, March 21, 2016
The games we play
The last few months have been full of adventures. I have been watching my little boy grow before my eyes and opening myself up to learning and growing experiences. I did say my year of maternity leave would also be a year of professional development. I have not been disappointed.
One of the aspects of life I have been learning is about the games and intrigues of others. Unfortunately, I have an ex who has been very trying in many ways. I have been trying to figure out to play the best hand in order to not lose everything. This is where I have been going oh so wrong; trying to play games that I do not understand nor do they naturally come to me. I have been seeing the counsellor we had gone to for couples counselling for help understanding the nature of things with my ex. A lot of it is manipulation games. I do not like those kinds of games at all. It feels like I have been transported onto a playing field where I do not know the rules or even recognize the area. My hands have been tied in knots because of that. Instead it occurred to me at 4am (after a wakeup by my son) that I instead can be the oak tree.
"I am like the oak tree: I will stand tall and strong, endure all , protect my loved ones and smile at the sun and clouds alike."
I like this. It deeply resonates with me. I figure that if I am the solid oak tree, I cannot be bent to manipulations. I will still seek information to better understand my environment and the people I have to deal with on a regular basis. As well as myself.
I also see my own counsellor. Every time I see her, I feel more sure of myself and my situation. I get to ask her the questions that help me understand better my own coping mechanisms and views on life. She has reinforced many times over that I am a very strong woman and very capable of anything. It feels like I have broken through a wall of plastic wrap finally. I am now at a place where I can break free of the ropes, fully believe and have faith in my abilities and spirit's will, and be proud of myself. I will not try to be someone I am not (that never, ever worked out well for me but lead to many lessons). Instead, I will always be true to myself. In that way, I will be true to my son.
One of the aspects of life I have been learning is about the games and intrigues of others. Unfortunately, I have an ex who has been very trying in many ways. I have been trying to figure out to play the best hand in order to not lose everything. This is where I have been going oh so wrong; trying to play games that I do not understand nor do they naturally come to me. I have been seeing the counsellor we had gone to for couples counselling for help understanding the nature of things with my ex. A lot of it is manipulation games. I do not like those kinds of games at all. It feels like I have been transported onto a playing field where I do not know the rules or even recognize the area. My hands have been tied in knots because of that. Instead it occurred to me at 4am (after a wakeup by my son) that I instead can be the oak tree.
"I am like the oak tree: I will stand tall and strong, endure all , protect my loved ones and smile at the sun and clouds alike."
I like this. It deeply resonates with me. I figure that if I am the solid oak tree, I cannot be bent to manipulations. I will still seek information to better understand my environment and the people I have to deal with on a regular basis. As well as myself.
I also see my own counsellor. Every time I see her, I feel more sure of myself and my situation. I get to ask her the questions that help me understand better my own coping mechanisms and views on life. She has reinforced many times over that I am a very strong woman and very capable of anything. It feels like I have broken through a wall of plastic wrap finally. I am now at a place where I can break free of the ropes, fully believe and have faith in my abilities and spirit's will, and be proud of myself. I will not try to be someone I am not (that never, ever worked out well for me but lead to many lessons). Instead, I will always be true to myself. In that way, I will be true to my son.
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