Leap of Faith

Consider, consider, consider this
The world designed in your mind is your own
Beliefs tested, some tried and some untrue
Break them down for what they are and see
The truth lies underneath as truth knows truth
Black and white, "fuck yes" or no, all or none
Inside there's an everlasting knowing that tells all
Norms, standards, expectations changes it again
Strip them all away, Strip them down to the truth
Truth is both and neither negative or positive
You have to acknowledge the ugly to live the magical
Ignoring realities that does not help lead to truth
It's a leap of faith to take that holds such beauty
Step forward and remove the chains, heal from all that has been
Move forward from here as I am, as I will be
Split in half, quartered and drawn, I am awake
Take the best of what I know and make it better
The magic exists and is out there for me to grab
Lived too long in lives based on text books and nothing
Always remember how the wind feels on my face, freedom
Lead me no more, I am the wanderer who has learned to drive
Live with my heart and soul in all that I physically do and think
Play reverse and catch up to get fully ahead in the moment
All those memories, pieces and more is my best bet
Piece by piece it all breaks own into something much bigger
Live in that beautiful, magical world full of love and wonder
Remember, acknowledge and empathise with all the ugly
I make the choice now to be able to choose which one I want
Take that leap of faith and keep it going, it will work
I will always make life work no matter what
That leap of faith of living positively and fully once again
I take a deep breath

The way to thriving

Wound up and wound down
I wait and wait and forget about waiting
Stirred around like a James Bond martini
Consider all the aspects on the inside and out
The results are the same to smile
Live in black and white
Everything is either a "fuck yes" or a "no"
No more room for grey in my life
Uncertainty is best avoided and unexplored
No more time for that in my life
I've learnt enough to have the confidence I need
Enough trials that serve only as further evidence
Saturation has been reached
No more data to gather to prove points
Points have been proven, time to move on
Fully free and empowered by this knowledge
I give myself permission to take initiatives
I give myself permission to be empowered in my life
I am the best and most active player
There is also another element to add: my son
No longer is it just about me and the possibilities
Now it is about doing the best for my son
Which includes making the best decisions for my life
What I do in my life will impact him
Mama bear is my strength and best chance
I have the freedom to be me and to choose
Taking care of myself has become a higher responsibility
Bye bye to what does not bring positive to my life
Hello to the world of wonder and beautiful things
Smile upon smile, my breath is stolen away for a moment
All will be well, even in the clouds, smiles can be found
Take it all in, every moment, every detail
Grow before my eyes, you and I, in this together
This is thriving

IvyTattoo

The green vines surround me in tranquility
Brush against my face as I wander through them
This is peace, this is real, this is me

Wrapped around my arms in a lovers embrace
Never really letting go but never really hanging out
This is ecstasy, this is sensation, this is feeling

The brilliant colours are stunning in the light
Even in darkness, the vines offer comfort safely
This is letting go, this is embrace, this is trust

Sweet tendrils of mercy take my breath away
Standing still or moving forward it is there for me
This is support, this is believing, this is freedom

All of this dwells inside ready to come out
Looking within from the inside and out
This is love, this is trust, this is what I want

No more screaming from the bottoms of my soul
The vines caress reaches into the depths
This is release, this is emotion, this is acknowledgement

The ivy vine twists around my arm over and over
Weave its way around by back to remind me
This is grounding, this is truth, this is wonder

Burnt to the ground time and time again
Regrow stronger, more fruitful, more bold
This is resiliency, this is integrity, this is opportunity

It binds me together as whole with so many facets
The vine reminds me of abundance found always
This is beauty, this is strength, this is passion

Remember, remember

Remember, remember the history of who I am
Often forgotten out of fear or shame
The stories come to the surface to be shared
Only to realize there is of nothing to be scared

The stories of my youth, regaled with reflection
Are nothing more than youthful genuflection
That part of my story is key, I often forget
But really, it is just a result of neglect

Who I was and who I am are in fact the same
Now I am to realize how much I have to gain
These stories to be retold come out quite bold
New insights to remember the days of old

Now, I come to realize what has happened
I really was quite smart, compassionate and blackened
So much of me was hidden under the depression
As the years wore on, the outside became the expresion

I was smart in school, volunteered and loved music
What I did was quite, for myself and others, therapeutic
I did so much more than for which I give myself credit
It is a shame I felt over the years to greatly self-edit

Memories fade away with a smile on my face
I have someone new with which to share my grace
Oddly enough, he understands it really quite well
This has given me new hope to break the old spell

Being misunderstood, hidden and confused were my norm
All of the sudden I feel understood seen and warm
Maybe that time of my life wasn't all so bad after all
I was bold, beautiful, and stood quite tall

I was also hurt, broken, bent and beaten in a cloud of pain
Only music could get through to me while the rest abstain
I knew not of another type of life I could live
The darkness I knew became my friend, to keep me alive

Oh, how many times that darkness nearly did me in
But I survived to live another day, I was allowed to begin
Each day anew it was an opportunity to change my dance
Always had to remember that music was my best chance

It was the best time that I felt alive, feeling the earth's pulse
Even though I surrounded myself in a haze in impulse
It kept me going and made me feel a part of something more
I really did need what it gave me to believe what is in store

In a world where I believed dreams could come true
I lived my life fully, even started each day anew
Along the way I forgot of how to live with my heart
It was my way out after my mind protecting from the start

Somehow my emotional being became disconnected
I was wrong; it has simply been neglected
When the world falls down around your ears
It is easy to revert back to old fears

Spirit and heart bright, my body and mind took flight
Only I didn't see it through the haze, especially at first light
My comfort zones were at night, hidden by the shadows
They absorbed my whole self in the foggy meadows

Come out into the sun, my child-self, to the warmth
Use your compass to find your due north
That little voice inside guides you along in trust
It's okay to know that some things do turn to dust

The girl you once were was very true but lost
She is you and you are her, it's time to cross
Remember, remember the truth of what was
Everything always happens, not just because

Let into the light the inside of who I was then
Take what I know and begin again
It all starts anew today, tomorrow and the next
I already have all the ingredients to be my best