Capacity

I have the capacity to do great things
Arms open wide and embracing life
I have the capacity to accomplish anything
Steadily moving forward through dreams
However....
Underneath brews a batch of black muck
Dark and sinister, it can change everything
Filtered through are "what ifs" and more doubt
Gone unchecked for too long, it alights on fire
So then...
Acknowledge the darkness that brews inside
Nothing gained from hiding or ignoring it
Light befriends darkness, no longer alone
The voices become familiar faces, strangers gone
Evermore...
There's an internal love potion that takes over the pot
Stir and stir, slow and steady, low heat, it takes flavour
Surely steadily we dance in the rain without care
For it doesn't matter as your footing becomes more sure
Therefore...
The more you, you are you, the more solid the shield
The sneers and scorn turn into envy for they wish to be free
Ever humble, you become the poster child for xyz
Compassion keeps ego in check as you grow to outshine
Eternally...
I come to embody mother nature: rainy and sunny days alike
Negative associations are embraced with compassion and questions
Dissonance, a tool for recognizing the need for investigations
I claim to be wild and free like mother Gaia with love
After all...
Fear is a motivator and a tool to understand situations
Learning life, internally, externally and inbetween
Done with love, compassion and constructivism
I  have the capacity to do great things

Love, light and wonderful

In the arms of warmth, I am bathed and balanced
Closer and closer, the joy settles in smoothly
Dreams of nights like this turn into daytime smiles
You're making me believe in love again

Wrapped up in light and darkness, we do not hide
One another understands the other with effort
What was once a disaster blooms beautifully
We live externally what we feel internally

No such thing as "putting up with"
I embrace you fully as you are
I embrace every piece of you
I embrace... us

Twists and turns down (un)familiar roads
We are on this adventure together
New experiences bring up old memories
Slowly the past is revealed in present light

Together, we are an unstoppable force
Supporting one another as best we can
Working out disconnections and revelations
Please remember this for always

Surprising surprises catch you off guard
As the layers fade away to the core
Things kept inside and bottled too long
Bottles being uncorked with consequences

Corked black eyes are inevitable
Hold me tight as the bottle pours out
Shame and bewilderment mixes together
To know implicit trust without broken glass

In this life, we make it what we want
I want you, as we are today
I want to grow with you, as we will be
I want to be there for you, as we always wished for

As we become accustomed to our oddities
Awe and pride takes over at every look
Love and serenity settles in fully
As we learn to navigate the world together

Story of Wonder

You asked me what is important to me
Well, the list is long and worthy of love
Some of it I worry would scare you away
But it is all very true, down to my soul

Let me start with the love of my life
It is my son who I love with all my might
With his beautiful smile and lively giggles
He is the one who I look up to every day

Family and friends of high quality and values
Let me be clear, this is a work in progress
What I want is to have the truest of the true
And all the rest will simply fade away

Then there's you, who has found his way
Little did I know all that I would learn
To talk about what truly matters and more
It all means so much to me, this connection

To make every day full of magic and wonder
Laugh and smile with my truest heart
Shed away the dark cape of comfort
Light and love is the path I choose

I cannot forget my kitties and puppy
The conditional love they share with us
How I adore the way you look at them too
With softness and compassion, my heart swells

I have my stories to tell with positive twists
I hide the ones that are fully of darkness
They are important to my life story
I rather let them alone and inform the light

With gratitude and a smile I live every day
To be alive and learning to thrive is a blessing
I thank the universe, gods, goddesses
The lords and ladies of my ancestries

All of this and more is the life I choose to live
Taking every day as a gift, a beautiful present
The unhappy events have their proper place
They are met with compassion and kindness

You may still wonder what else there is
Many more questions and conversations
They will be held in our sacred space
Living this life of wonder and magic

We have so much to learn about one another
To which I look forward to exploring in time
All the little and big things that matter to us
All in due time, with patience and love

Fading to Farewell

Fading away, day by day, take our love with you
So many words exchanged silently as I hold your hand
So many tears shed in the comfort of my own home
How much we all love you, let me count the ways
Your life has been yours to live and enjoy
Ninety years in and it seems that you are fading

Before my very eyes, nothing has been more painful
My son got to meet his great-Nannie and make her laugh
Four generations gather at your bedside day by day
So many people gather around to say their farewells
You've brought joy to hearts through your smile and music
Ah, your music...

Take it day by day, I wish I could visit with you more often
My heart breaks apart each time I do and each time I don't
Never far from my thoughts, my heart sends a stream of love
I pray that you are comfortable and will fade away in peace
I'll forever remember our songs, our moments in the hammock
I'll forever remember you in my heart

Today we say farewell not knowing if we can say it again tomorrow
Please let your naps and sleep be filled with most wonderful dreams
I can picture you dancing, stomping your fit to fiddle music
Then the dream shifts, you play your fiddle for stomping feet
Life is full of song and dance and magic, you helped teach me that
Appreciation, gratitude and love

I pick up your hand so you know I am there and I love you
You feel so tiny compared to the Nannie I remember
Please do not suffer in your moment of needing comfort
You wonder why you are so tired these days
Well, you're getting ready to say your own farewell
Farewell Nannie, I will love you for always

Solid Ground

The new years brings new insight into the unknown
A simple breath of air here turns into a gust of wind there
Rocking back and forth in this boat that I keep afloat
I long for solid ground under my feet

Leap of Faith

Consider, consider, consider this
The world designed in your mind is your own
Beliefs tested, some tried and some untrue
Break them down for what they are and see
The truth lies underneath as truth knows truth
Black and white, "fuck yes" or no, all or none
Inside there's an everlasting knowing that tells all
Norms, standards, expectations changes it again
Strip them all away, Strip them down to the truth
Truth is both and neither negative or positive
You have to acknowledge the ugly to live the magical
Ignoring realities that does not help lead to truth
It's a leap of faith to take that holds such beauty
Step forward and remove the chains, heal from all that has been
Move forward from here as I am, as I will be
Split in half, quartered and drawn, I am awake
Take the best of what I know and make it better
The magic exists and is out there for me to grab
Lived too long in lives based on text books and nothing
Always remember how the wind feels on my face, freedom
Lead me no more, I am the wanderer who has learned to drive
Live with my heart and soul in all that I physically do and think
Play reverse and catch up to get fully ahead in the moment
All those memories, pieces and more is my best bet
Piece by piece it all breaks own into something much bigger
Live in that beautiful, magical world full of love and wonder
Remember, acknowledge and empathise with all the ugly
I make the choice now to be able to choose which one I want
Take that leap of faith and keep it going, it will work
I will always make life work no matter what
That leap of faith of living positively and fully once again
I take a deep breath

The way to thriving

Wound up and wound down
I wait and wait and forget about waiting
Stirred around like a James Bond martini
Consider all the aspects on the inside and out
The results are the same to smile
Live in black and white
Everything is either a "fuck yes" or a "no"
No more room for grey in my life
Uncertainty is best avoided and unexplored
No more time for that in my life
I've learnt enough to have the confidence I need
Enough trials that serve only as further evidence
Saturation has been reached
No more data to gather to prove points
Points have been proven, time to move on
Fully free and empowered by this knowledge
I give myself permission to take initiatives
I give myself permission to be empowered in my life
I am the best and most active player
There is also another element to add: my son
No longer is it just about me and the possibilities
Now it is about doing the best for my son
Which includes making the best decisions for my life
What I do in my life will impact him
Mama bear is my strength and best chance
I have the freedom to be me and to choose
Taking care of myself has become a higher responsibility
Bye bye to what does not bring positive to my life
Hello to the world of wonder and beautiful things
Smile upon smile, my breath is stolen away for a moment
All will be well, even in the clouds, smiles can be found
Take it all in, every moment, every detail
Grow before my eyes, you and I, in this together
This is thriving