Smile today

Make the best of today
Forget what possibilities are ahead
Deal with right now
It will make the future easier

Learning to listen carefully
My body talks in sublelties
I am the only one to know
I am the only one who understands

Brave on forward with a smile
Even when balancing
Feel safe to laugh at myself
They are my very own flaws

Gain the confidence to succeed
I already have more than I think I do
Learn the little lessons
That make a huge difference

I have much love to give yet
Be patient and selective
When it feels right, it will be
Until then, smile :)

Concentrate

Somedays wishing couldn't feel
Not far from breaking down in tears
They hid behind the eyes
Body tension aims to break you
Nothing can save me
Sit down and relax
What can I do

Strive to find solutions and thrive
Days come and go with no resolve
What can you do with the pain
My body has short circuited
Long ago, it probably started
Pain, pain, pain screams at me
Take more meds, drown in them
Almost did once
But here I am
What can I do

I write in hopes that it helps me
Listen to music I enjoy to relax
Try to focus on work, Try to get stuff done
Try not to feel bad for not walking the dog
Sometimes, I got to put myself first
Otherwise, I will whither away
I can't stop, if I do, I will perish
Get out to exercise class, it helps
Keep on moving forward
Watch the rain
Silently cry
What can I do

Oh so lonely

How does one deal with loneliness?
The thoughts that come about are saddening
When all you want is to cuddle up to someone
When all you want is more than a friend

I am fortunate to have good friends around
Even have an awesome guy for a roommate
Sites like POF are considered by put aside
Already promised myself, "never again"

So what do you do when you are lonely?
I cuddle up with my critters to watch a movie
Make myself a bowl of popcorn and relax
Most of all, keep myself busy with projects

Maybe it is the winter settling in or Christmas
But every so often that feeling sneaks up on me
Creeps in to my thoughts and feelings
Little things make me cry that usually do not

Ah, the stifled romantic heart cries out
Memories of past romances float by
Will it ever happen again? Who knows
Maybe one day, but hard to really say

My independent streak serves me well
Being guarded and keeping to myself
I know how to live well by myself
And I will keep on going this way

Until the fates show those cards...

Turn the page

Questions, questions and more questions
On the quest for answers
Go to hospitals, leave hurting and confused
What is going on? What is wrong?

Listen closely to my body
Hear where it hurts and what ways
Make a list and hope
Enough talking, here's the list

Waiting for the pain to settle
Heat helps and cold hinders
Sleep my sleepless nights
Work through the fog

Appointments come, answers finally
Blood tests say nothing
Body is still talking
Change of pace, change of meds

Through the answers comes peace
Knowing is half the battle
The other half is managing the answer
Modify my life but not going to stop living

So here I am, knowing what I know
Learning my limits as I go
What this fibromyalgia does to me
I will keep on going within my limits

Listen carefully to my body and mind
It is now more important than ever

Some days I will be exhausted
Some days I will be in pain
Some days I will be in a fog
Some days I will be okay